Category: Crazy News

Mathematicians, Physicists and Others

 Mathematicians and Physicists are curious characters. Sometimes you find them voicing out their opinions in such a way about others, their colleagues and themselves that may be very enjoyable to hear(and read about). 

   Having written enough explanations(for now), I guess a bit of “mathematician and physicists” jokes can be added at this point. So, in this post, there will be no wormholes, no paradox, no “atomos”, just what these people, on whom we all depend immensely, think about stuff. Beware though, after reading this, you may develop an excessive interest in science.


How can you know what experiment is being conducted?

                                           If it is green and it wiggles, it’s biology;
                                                      If it stinks, it’s chemistry;
                                                 If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.


Little Fact: Men are 4 times more likely than women to be struck by lightning.(Careful out there Guys!)

     A physics student was hit by a brick falling from a house. He fainted, but came to after a while and started smiling. The onlookers were worried, so they asked him why the smile. “I just realized how lucky I am because the kinetic energy is only half m v squared.”

“Philosophers write so as not to be understood.”Richard Feynman


                                   Why was Heisenberg’s wife unsatisfied?

When he had the time he didn’t have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn’t have the momentum.

Little Fact: LA is moving north towards San Fransisco at the same rate as your fingernails are growing!

QED:Quite Easily Done!

This one is from someone I met:
       An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist are locked inside three separate rooms. They are each given a can of soft drink to open without using the seal. They all agree and are locked inside.The physicist calculates the exact center of gravity of the can and pierces a hole through it and gulps down the drink. The engineer frantically throws the can at the wall until it bursts. When you enter the mathematician’s room, you find him in a complete mess, his hair is messed up and his clothes almost torn. He is looking intensely at the can and saying : “Assume the can is open, Assume the can is open…”

An angry human female develops an acceleration of about 100g’ at the foot when stalking off in high heels.

They can’t fire me,SLAVES HAVE TO BE SOLD. (On the wall of a graduate student’s lab)

                      British Politician: “What good is electricity?”                              
                     Michael Faraday: “I don’t know but one day, you’ll tax it.”

The more questions we answer, the more answers we end up questioning.





      Trying to combine quantum physics and blogging may sound very strange (well, it is!)  and is possibly the fruit of a deranged mind(well, that also is!). This a simply a post for bloggers (and future bloggers) out there.Ever wondered what bloggers will be like in, say, 50 or so years. What will be the most important tool they would be using (classically called the computer).The title’s the answer- they could be Quantum Bloggers(…or maybe not!)

     So, what’s all the fuss about being a Quantum Blogger? Or, more importantly what will be the tool that our future GrandBloggers (that means the grandchildren of bloggers) would be using? The answer may be Quantum Computers (Of course, that doesn’t mean that all our GrandBloggers will have to be Quantum Physicists!).

      The salient thing here is the Quantum Computer. Allow me to add a bit of historical perspective. Long ago (that’s in the 50s), computers were fat (even that is euphemistically speaking). With the advent of better tech, computer parts shrunk (and with the advent of more tech, parts shrunk even more). So came a little dilemma (a theoretical one) posed by the thinking people- we cannot possibly shrink these parts infinitely, there’s got to be a limit to it, right? (we have yet to reach that limit though). Fact is, there is (classically speaking). So came our very dear Quantum Computers (atleast in concept).

     Very strangely, though, the concept of quantum computing dates back to the 1960s. It is the brainchild of Richard Feynman(he crops up everytime, doesn’t he?). Now, before you start accusing our scientists of indolence and ‘not doing anything’, allow me to clarify, it is the strange Quantum World that we’re talking about here and by the time I explain, you’ll see how strange everything is!

      The Quantum computer is a hybrid of Quantum Physics and Computing. And when these two combine..These computers will have the computing efficiency of many classical computers put together(exponentially) and will have the ability to toy with as many figures as there are atoms in the Universe (phew!) instantly. They operate on Qubit(that’s quantum bits). While we are familiar with the 1s and 0s of classical computers, quantum computers use both at the same time(that’s the strange world of quantum physics and superposition).

      Now, let’s address the question of whether our GrandBloggers would be Quantum Bloggers? The answer(quite unfortunately or… not) is a NO! At present, the most that Quantum Computers could do is like looking up a name [very fast] in a phonebook or doing prime factorisation. That does not make them very useful (and that’s why we do not see them today on our tables)

      But let’s not just be negative about this. There might be a generation of Quantum Bloggers one day. For now, let’s just enjoy a good old Beatles song on our Macs. Who knows when these might become obsolete? Cheers to that!

                         “I, a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe.” Richard P. Feynman
As an endnote, for those interested in the strange world of Quantum Computing, see: or


      Too often has science seemed as a mixture of complex formulas jumbled together in a confusing way that is understood only by a select few. My purpose in writing this blog is simple: to show that science is fun.

Do you agree with what I just said? 

     If you don’t, then hang on for sometime by “Scient1fy and I will, hopefully, help you see otherwise. If you do, well, we will have a lot of fun together! “Scient1fy” is, in part, a response to what I, myself, have sometimes felt while doing science- “how and where do all these formulas, laws and deductions stack up to?” So, I’m pretty sure that learning will be a two way process.  The name “Scient1fy”, in itself, tells a lot- create some interesting science-related topics and unify them to evoke an interest.

    So, if one day while you are walking, you start wondering why, when you partly look at the sun, your eyelids appear colored and you think of that crazy “Scient1fy” Blogger who “said something about this, I will know that I have done something.

    Speaking of the colored eyelids, that is just a “light- game”- the same way rainbows are formed except this is a small rainbow that you carry just near your eyes without knowing it- one of the many fascinating phenomenon that occur around us.(and we don’t even know they are there)

    Speaking of fantastic phenomena, another one is called “Diffraction“(Just another name)- it actually  means “the spreading of waves” in normal terms. Think of it this way: have you ever wondered why you can hear a dog barking around a corner although you cannot see him? Well, it’s because of diffraction. Sound from the dog can “change its direction” through the corner or your window (a dog was barking while I was writing this, so that’s how I got the “dog-idea”) but not light. Both sound and light are different intensities of vibration(light being the higher and its nature being different). Enough of these explanations for now.(Actually, for the more adventurous, here’s a more thorough explanation) Just a final word: this principle is present everywhere and used in mobile networks among other things.

      So ask questions(that’s what the scientific method is all about!) and drop by when you are up for some thinking about the one beautiful thing that’s all around and which we are part of –nature!

 Science is like sex, it may have practical benefits in the end but that’s not why we do it.” By Vasish(That’s my name) [plagiarized from Richard P. Feynman]

p.s Please Visit my Polls Page, there is a  survey that I am conducting. Participation in highly encouraged and appreciated.